


Ready for whatever comes next

by sazzlesj



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Philinda - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29715375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sazzlesj/pseuds/sazzlesj
Summary: This is set between S4 E11 (Wake up) and S4 E12 (Hot Potato)Because surely something had to happen between the end of Episode 11 where they were looking lovingly into each others eyes and the kiss in Episode 12.
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Melinda May, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Ready for whatever comes next

“I was reckless, why didn’t I listen to him?”

“You were protecting your people.”

“Yeah but”

“Reckless, maybe, who cares. Phil, we are who we are. Flaws and all.”

“And you’re fine with that?” He wanted her to be because she was right. They are who they are.

“Yeah” May took this as an opportunity to reach out to him and offer a reassuring squeeze to his bicep. “I am.”

Coulson breathed out a small laugh and looked May right in the eye. They were staring at each other, a small, comforting smile on both of their faces. Coulson reached up his left hand to his arm and squeezed Mays hand in reply. “Thanks May.”

Again, he was hit with the same thoughts he’d been having for a number of months. May was his best friend, had been for years. They’d been through everything together, death, trauma, betrayal, loss, lies, fun, happiness, laughter. Everything. But here they were now, together in a small room after another tough day, and he was aware that their relationship was hurtling down a new path, and if he was honest it had been heading that way since he returned from Maveth. They had been spending a lot more time together, just the two of them, sharing drinks, flirtatious comments, laughing and joking more than they had done in years. May had been a lot more open, letting him back in, pulling down her walls for him. He found that he was always much happier when he was with her.

Even when he stepped down as Director and was away from the base looking for Daisy more often than he was at it, they still remained close. They would text and ring each other whenever they could, catch up on their missions, training, life. When he returned to base they would seek each other out and just enjoy the time together. It was always more friendship than anything else, but clearly both of them wanted to spend the time they had with each other. Mack was a good partner and it had been nice to be out in the field with him but he couldn’t help think that he’d rather have his old partner back, it would have been great to fly around the world for weeks on end with May.

He doesn’t know whether it was because she had died and came back, or if it was because he was sucked into another dimension and was almost lost but these last few weeks seem to have accelerated these growing feelings more. There was more open and bold flirting, lingering touches, and smiles. Smiles. May hadn’t smiled at him this much in years, with such a glint in her eyes. Her smile was always warm and comforting. He’d even made her laugh a number of times, a sound so rare it always made his heart ache with happiness. They’d also opened that bottle of Haig, this probably excited him the most, that was a big step for both of them. There was a lot of history behind that bottle and he knew they were both tentatively stepping over their boundaries. It was slow, they weren’t rushing into anything but he wanted this to continue, he wanted to give it a shot, he was confident she felt the same, but he wasn’t going to rush her. 

“Have you eaten yet? He hoped she hadn’t, he wanted to spend the evening in her company.

“Not yet, what you thinking?”

“Remember when we’d return from a mission together and we’d just head to one of our apartments, hang out, eat, drink, talk. Just the two of us”

May smiled at the memory of those times. That seem such a long time ago now. They were a lot more care free then. Sure, her and Phil have regularly shared drinks and food together in the last few years, usually in his office when he was Director, but she knows he’s not quite referring to that right now. “I can order us some pizza” was her simple answer to that.

Phil chuckled at that. “You really do love pizza, don’t you”?

“Hey, if we’re going to recreate the old days, we might as well do it right.”

They agreed to meet up at Phils bunk in 30 minutes, giving them both a time to clean up, get changed and for May to order dinner. Even though he was no longer Director, he’d been able to keep his bunk as Mace was living off base. His bunk was a lot bigger and had a couch they could be comfortable on. They both knew what an evening like this meant. They would dress comfortably, usually a t-shirt and sweats for Coulson and leggings and a oversized top for May, they would not be Agent Coulson and Agent May but Phil and Melinda, they would relax, share pizza and drink expensive alcohol. They would be together, just the two of them, no interruptions, no team, and if luck would have it, no saving the world.

-

“Is that my t-shirt?” Coulson said as he greeted May at the door. She had an oversized blue t-shirt with a huge Captain America logo at the front.

“Probably, I don’t know anyone else who would buy anything like this” she teased back.

Phil pouted at that. “Hey, can’t be that bad if you’re willing to wear it in public.”

“Wouldn’t call this public Phil, it’s just me and you” she smiled back. “I’ve got quite a few of yours I think, all those times I just crashed at yours and needed something to sleep in. I like them” she shrugged and offered him a warm smile. “Always helped me feel close to you, even when we didn’t see each other for months.”

Phil could feel himself blush at that, he always knew May cared for him, but didn’t realise how sentimental she had been all of these years.

He grabbed a couple of glasses and opened up one of his nicer bottles of red wine. They always started with wine and moved on later to whiskey or scotch. They settled down on the sofa both releasing a small sigh as they relaxed into the sofa. They sat close enough to each other that their knees were touching, it felt nice and neither made an attempt to separate.

“I’m glad Daisy decided to stay” Phil said as he stuffed a slice of pizza into his mouth. “I know she’s still not fully herself, but she’s getting there.”

“I’m glad too. She’s had a hell of a time, but we’re her family and she can heal with us. Plus, between us all we know a little bit about loss and trauma.”

“You can say that again, kinda sad really isn’t it – come back to us – we’ve spent a life time living through hell – there’s no one more experience to talk to about it.”

Melinda could only laugh at that. “True. From a personal point of view it’s just nice to have her around again. I missed her. It also means your back on the base more which is nice.”

“It’s always good to know you missed me Mel”

She rolled her eyes “Didn’t say that, just that it was nice you were back.”

He bumped his shoulder against her. “Sure, sure, whatever you say. I missed you too, just so you know”

This time he could see Melinda blush a little bit as she bowed her head and took a sip of her wine. He didn’t push any further as he could feel her tense a little, despite the steps they’d been taking recently he didn’t want to scare her off. He quickly changed the conversation as they spoke a little bit about Mace and what he’s handed back to Phil since the revelation of him not being an inhuman and how much Jemma was thriving in her new role and her responsibilities. Melinda gave a bit of an insight into her strike team and how much she actually enjoyed the training. It wasn’t long until they were opening a second bottle of wine and finishing off their pizza.

“OK” Coulson said. “Enough with the shop talk for a bit. I’ve got a question for you” He turned to face May who was looking at him with her eyebrows raised wondering where he was going with this. He looked at her with a serious face.

“Thor, Stark, Cap – Shag, Marry, Kill”

May laughed out loud at this. They’d not played this game in years. Back when Shield was Old Shield they could play this game for hours with the amount of agents they knew. It was a little harder these days with the limited choices. 

“Easy – Shag Thor, Marry Stark, Kill Cap”

Phil gasped at her response and stared at her with his mouth open and hurt puppy dog eyes. “You wouldn’t….”

She patted his thigh sympathetically “I’m sorry, I know he’s your hero and you love him unconditionally but I reckon I could take him. Plus, Pepper says it’s actually pretty fun to be married to Tony. And there is no chance of me kicking Thor out of bed.”

“Because he’s so dreamy?”

“So very very dreamy.” Coulson could only shake his head. May always had a thing for Thor – he knew that was one battle he could never win.

It was Mays turn to ask the question. “Maria, Tasha, Pepper”

“Shag Pepper, Kill Maria, Marry Tasha” he answered without much thought.

“Not what I expected Phil, poor Maria will be so hurt. She always had a soft spot for you.”

“Well, there is no way I could even attempt to kill of Tasha and can you imagine the look on Starks face is little old Agent had a night with his wife.” They both laughed for a while at that. Phil poured out the rest of the wine and went looking for one of his nice bottles of Scotch, grabbed a couple of glasses and poured them both a couple of fingers.

“Me, Mack, Barton”

He thought it was a little risky putting himself in one of these, but he had enough alcohol inside him and enough interest to plow on.

“Easy. Shag Barton, Kill Mack, Marry you”

Phil turned to her with a big grin and wiggled his eyesbrows. He got an eyeroll in return.

“Don’t get too cocky Phil, Barton would be good for a no strings night, and there is no way I’d ever kill you – so the choices were simple.”

Coulson was very aware that she didn’t expand more on her choices. This was May after all. They were slowly creeping over boundaries, but she still kept some things guarded.

He could see May thinking for a few moments, wondering what she would say next. He didn’t expect the next sentence.

“No weapons, would you rather fight a Gorilla or a Great White Shark?”

“So, I’m not getting an option with you in it?” He grinned back.

“Gorilla or Shark, Phil” He could see the smirk on her face as she said it. She knew what she was doing. Maybe one day he’d get to tell her he’d want to marry her too.

They carried on with this game for a good 45 minutes, it turns out both of them had very elaborate ways to defeat deadly animals without the use of weapons, and as they continued downing more and more scotch each description got funnier and funnier, they even began to visually show the other their methods and role play the fights. They called a halt to the fun when May tripped over her own feet and went tumbling back onto the couch after becoming dizzy and disorientated after too much alcohol and Coulson holding her upside down by the ankles as she took on the role of a captured Giant Squid. She managed to untangle herself and looked back up to him with such a warm smile on her face as she patted the space next to her. He joined her a took the bold step of putting his arm round her shoulder and pulling her in closer to him. She didn’t hesitate and happily snuggled into his side, pulling her legs up onto the couch next to her. This wasn’t new for them, evenings likes this in their past usually resulted in them snuggled on the couch after having their fair share of alcohol, their conversations turning more serious and reflective. They both knew the same would happen tonight, but they were both also aware that this time maybe the path they took and the conversations they had would be different. 

Neither of them knew how long they had been sat there, enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other. Coulson was now absentmindedly running his fingers through Mays hair as her own fingers traced gently over the scar on his chest. He started to replay the conversation he’d had early with Elena in his head. Had it really been that obvious to everyone else all of these years? Had they really denied themselves for so long? Was duty and honour the reason for this, or just fear of rejection, or loss or hurt. Had they denied themselves happiness for years?

_Me and May, no, it’s not like that._

_Please, I don’t need to a file on you two to know_.

May soon reached down to hold Coulsons robotic hand in her own, slowly tracing her fingers over it. She could see it light up under her touch, vein like strips luminating brightly. She wondered if it did it just for her, she’d never seen it light up around anyone else, but then again Coulson wasn’t someone to just walk around holding hands with people. She hoped it was just a reaction he had to her touch.

She sighed, it seemed like the time to talk again. “You’re thinking”

“I am”

“What about?”

“You”

“Oh”

He gave a small huff out of his nose, still running his fingers through her hair. “When I asked you to come on the bus, I promised you no red tape, I said we’d be running ourselves, picking our missions, and for a while that was the case and it was fun, and then I became Director and a whole bunch of stuff happened but we largely got to decide what we did and then I stepped down, the team got given separate assignments and now we have all of this happening and it feels all the red tape is back and I mean I don’t miss the politics, but it feels different again and…”

“Phil, you’re rambling, what’s up?”

“Do you regret agreeing to come back?”

Melinda stiffened at that question, and then forced herself out of Phils embrace, so she was sitting up. She turned to face him and took a deep breath. “No, I don’t.” He could sense that she wasn’t finished, and he encouraged her with a soft smile to continue, knowing that she was usually a lot more forthcoming and chattier when she’d had a few drinks.

“The way things used to be, I know we didn’t have normal lives, but it was different, some of us could and did have a sense of normality. Having a home or a family to go back to. That’s what I had with Andrew. I enjoyed being an agent, flying around the world with different people, making friends, saving lives, protecting the world. But then we would have time between missions to relax, spend time with others, do normal things, live small bits of an ordinary life.”

She poured them both some more scotch, nodding at Phil to let him know that she wasn’t finished yet.

“When you asked me to come back, it was different. We lived together, did everything together, we barely left the bus or the base and my life as an Agent was so different to how it was before. I only had you and the team. You became my home and my family. For the first time since Bahrain, I enjoyed my job. I had my purpose back.”

Phil interrupted. “And then Andrew came back”

“Yeah, and I gradually felt a longing to see if I could have that part of my old life back. That’s why I went away with him on vacation. Those 2 weeks we were happy, it was nice but I think deep down I knew that I couldn’t have that life again, regardless of what happened with Andrew later. When he left, I needed that extra time away to really make a decision about where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be with. Leaving Shield meant leaving you, and I didn’t want that, not again. You are the most important person in my life Phil, you are my family. What we have means everything to me.”

Phil could feel himself start to relax again. He understood what those words meant for them – that whatever happened they would have each other. They had both chosen this life, together.

“And are you happy?” He has only ever wanted her to be happy. 

She looked at him in the eyes and smiled. “I am, I am here with you and there is no place I’d rather be.”

Phil stretched out his arm along the back of the couch again, offering for May to come back and cuddle up to him again. She happily settled back into his side, head resting against the top of his chest. “Good – because I can’t do any of this without you. You’re the most important person in my life too.”

He could feel her smile into his chest as she snuggled a little closer. They sat comfortably for a while just enjoying the sound of the other breathing.

“You know” Phil began “When I was running around in a mad panic because Mace wouldn’t tell me where they took you when that Ghost walked through you.” Melinda let out a giggle at that which made Phil squeeze her shoulder. “He told me that I couldn’t be objective when it came to you. He’s was right. I can’t be. Never have been able to. But I think that’s what makes what we have here, what we have built together, what we are, work. We are who we are. Flaws and all”

“And we know each others flaws better than anyone.”

“We do.”

Melinda had a glint in her eye as she looked up at Phil. “For example, you think you can attack a Gorilla by sneaking up on it from behind and strangling it. Which is frankly ridiculous Phil”

“Hey! Unfair – it’s a solid plan.” he replied shaking his head with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry” May replied patting his thigh “Ill protect you.”

Phil smiled and kissed the top of her head as May closed her eyes as she rested her hand back on his chest. He gently started rubbing his hand up and down her side. They sat together in silence for a while longer, just enjoying the comfort of the other, knowing they were close to taking that next step. It wouldn’t happen tonight, as it wouldn’t be right to do anything this important having drunk so much. But soon.

-

It was now gone 1 in the morning, May started to stir again and gently released herself from Phil’s arms, as she stood she squeezed his hand and offered him a small smile. She sighed, “It’s getting late, I should head back.” He gave her a wonderful, tired, dopey smile and nodded. 

She made her way to the door, stopping as she started to open it.

“Phil, tonight was” she hesitated, not really knowing what to say next.

He nodded and smiled back at her. “Yeah, it was.”

She turned and was half way out before Phil continued. “Mel, I’m ready you know”

“Ready?”

“Yeah – ready for whatever comes next.”

She gave him another warm smile as she carried on through the door and back to her bunk. They both knew what that meant. They knew what came next. They were finally ready to take that next step, break through those boundaries. 


End file.
